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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25524862">Reminisces</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/BluSheep/pseuds/BluSheep'>BluSheep</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Last of Us</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Despair, Friendship, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Intimacy, Memories, Nightmares, Nostalgia, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 07:35:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,459</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25524862</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/BluSheep/pseuds/BluSheep</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>On her cross country journey from Wyoming to Washington with Dina, Ellie experiences those first waves of grief and sorrow. Through her memories, the simple, sorrowful, and joyful moments of the past will be explored.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dina &amp; Ellie (The Last of Us)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. On the Outskirts of Boise</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <span class="small">We're getting close to Boise. Dina's pushing to go around.</span>
  <br/>
  <span class="small">I don't want to add two days to this trip.</span>
  <br/>
  <span class="small">– Ellie's journal</span>
</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p>
  <span class="small">Ellie and Dina's journey from Jackson to Boise as stated in Ellie's journal.</span>
</p><p>—</p>
<hr/><p>It was late evening when they saw Boise far to the north. Its derelict skyline was silhouetted against a waning blue sky and northern clouds tinged peach and scarlet underneath. To Ellie, the air was cool, quiet, soothing. Winter gave way to spring with each passing day. There were only small patches of snow here and there, the green grass dominating the silent landscape. The signs of spring brought sadness to Ellie’s heart. The Earth renewed itself after winter, but she still felt the same coldness inside.</p><p><em>I miss the snow, </em>Ellie thought.</p><p>They rode along the old road to the abandoned neighborhood just 50 feet or so ahead. The only sound was that of Shimmer’s hooves against the old asphalt. Dina was seated behind Ellie with her arms around Ellie’s waist. They gazed at the distant city, Ellie with a determined, somber face, Dina with a tinge of wonder. They were using Boise as a landmark on their way to Baker City in Oregon. Neither wanted to go any closer to it than was necessary to guide them, wary of the dangers of urban spaces.</p><p>“We made it,” Ellie said as they passed by an abandoned car.</p><p>Shimmer gently neighed, his breath no longer visible with the warmer temperature. </p><p>“We’ll be in Oregon by tomorrow, hopefully,” Dina replied, glancing westward. “We should stop here for the night.”</p><p>“You sure? We can find a nicer area.”</p><p>“Yeah, let’s sleep out in one of the fancy hotels in the middle of the city,” Dina lightheartedly joked. “Fight a bunch of infected on the way.”</p><p>Ellie was grateful for Dina’s tendency to keep the mood light.</p><p>“That small town gave us trouble four days ago, imagine what’s waiting for us in a city,” Ellie returned.</p><p>“That’s why we stop in this old neighborhood for the night.”</p><p>“Alright, fine. Let’s pick a house that has a high enough fence in the back, for Shimmer. He’s probably tired of hiding in garages by now.”</p><p>“We need to scope the place out first.”</p><p>“It seems quiet,” Ellie replied, looking over the abandoned streets, front yards, driveways, and slightly overgrown porches that could be seen from their position. “But, yeah. We’ll do a quick sweep.”</p><p>They passed the first house. Slowly, they rode through the neighborhood, passing a second, and then a third house, until they came before a modest, pale blue one to their right. It had a relatively clean exterior. Like the other houses, it had two floors, a front porch, a garage to the left, and a wooden gate to the left of the latter leading to the backyard. Grass grew along the cracks on the driveway just like on the street.</p><p>“Let’s look inside this one first,” Ellie nonchalantly suggested. “Then, we’ll make a sweep through the streets.”</p><p>“Sounds good.”</p><p>“Come on, Shimmer,” said Ellie with her gentle tone, leading him by the reigns up the driveway to the garage, and then to the backyard’s gate.</p><p>On reaching the gate, Ellie dismounted. After opening the gate and looking around in the backyard to see if it was safe, Dina led Shimmer through. Never one to be too affectionate, Ellie stole a long, thankful look at Dina as she rode Shimmer into the backyard. Ellie petted Shimmer’s back as he walked past into the backyard, all the while gazing at the back of her companion’s head, grateful for her.</p><p>“Tie him up. Then, we’ll check out the house.”</p><p>“Yes, ma’am,” Dina nonchalantly replied. Ellie held back a smirk.</p><p>A moment later, Dina tied Shimmer to a sturdy fence post. Then, she joined Ellie, who stood leaning beside the back door.</p><p>“It’s unlocked,” Ellie noted, unholstering her handgun and turning toward the door. “I took a peek inside. Seems clean, empty.”</p><p>“Let’s go inside,” Dina evenly replied.</p><p>Ellie warily opened the door again with her left hand, her pistol raised in the other. Dina followed behind. In just a few minutes, they swept through the entire first floor to find that it was clean and relatively undisturbed. No bodies or spores were found. In the next few minutes, they found the second floor to be similarly clean. They had a place to sleep for the night.</p><p>—</p><p>Together, they walked out the front door onto the porch, intending to walk through the neighborhood to make sure that it was safe. As they had done for the other small neighborhoods that they’d stopped in over the past weeks, they only planned to walk the sidewalks and look out for anything suspicious.</p><p>It so happened that the front porch had a couple of wooden chairs, the varnish of which was long worn away on both. Dina sat on the one closest to the door. Ellie leaned against the wooden rail in front of her, eyeing her best friend. They were silent for a few moments.</p><p>“Interesting day, huh?” Dina broached. “A long one for sure.”</p><p>Ellie thought for a moment.</p><p>"It's warmer, though."

</p>
<p>They stared at each other for a while, comforted by each other’s presence. Ellie seemed to be considering something as she looked.</p><p>“Again, thanks for coming out here with me,” Ellie casually said, adjusting her stance. "It means a lot."</p><p>“Of course,” Dina nonchalantly replied.</p><p>Ellie held back a smirk.</p><p>“I'd probably be dead if you weren't here.”</p><p>Dina could see a hint of emotion in her friend’s face. She looked at the bruise under Ellie's right eye.</p><p>"Definitely,” Dina replied, slowly getting up. "Probably right outside the gate by hitting your head on a branch."</p><p>Ellie blew air out of her nose in a semi-chuckle.</p><p>“Okay, whatever.”</p><p>“C'mon. Let’s do a sweep before it's late.”</p><p>Dina retrieved her rifle from around her shoulders as did Ellie. They flicked their rifles' safeties off. One after the other, they walked down the porch steps. She focused on the house across the street as she walked.</p><p>“Dina,” Ellie called out. “Walk beside me.”</p><p>She was four or five steps ahead.</p><p>“Alright,” Dina said, stopping to let Ellie catch up.</p><p>—</p><p>The housing area consisted of a relatively small, roughly circular street flanked by houses. They continued talking as they reached the end of that circle opposite of where their house stood. The place was quiet so far, save for their voices. No one either infected or living was around. Neither were there cars in any of the driveways nor parked on the sides of the street. All was silent. The cool air refreshed Ellie and for the time being, distracted her from any painful emotions and memories. She loved walking in silence with Dina; it reminded her of simpler times out on patrols around Jackson.</p><p>“I was <em>so</em> mad when you left that one night to Salt Lake on your own,” Dina said. “I’m still mad at you for that.”</p><p>“Yeah, you avoided me for nearly two weeks after I got back,” Ellie said, a small smile on her face.</p><p>“You didn’t even tell me beforehand.”</p><p>“’Cause I didn’t want you or anyone telling Joel,” she replied matter-of-factly.</p><p>“You thought I was going to snitch on you?” Dina said, feigning indignation and lightly pushing her friend’s shoulder.</p><p>“No! I just…" she sighed. "Okay, maybe I did think that you’d snitch on me.”</p><p>“Oh, wow. Thanks, I guess.”</p><p>Ellie chuckled.</p><p>“You know I had to keep it a secret."</p><p>They walked along the empty sidewalk in silence for a few moments.</p><p>“You never explained to my why you went all the way over there.”</p><p>“I did tell you,” Ellie earnestly defended.</p><p>“No. You only said that you needed to find something out. That it was personal.”</p><p>Ellie sighed.</p><p>“I’ll tell you when the time’s right. I just…it’s not easy to explain. At least not right now.”</p><p>“Okay, no pressure. Just promise me you won’t ever do that again.”</p><p>“I won’t. I promise. Jeez.”</p><p>Dina looked sideways at her friend with a faint smile. Ellie kept a focused look ahead, thumbing her rifle’s wooden stock.</p><p>As they walked along the sidewalk past the quiet houses, the sky to the east slowly became a deeper blue and the clouds a darker gray. A single bright star could be seen. As Ellie looked at the colors of the brighter sky to the west near the setting sun, gentle breezes blew against her face and body. As she let herself enjoy that feeling, she heard the sound of wind chimes nearby.</p><p>She wouldn’t have given it a second thought if it weren’t for the chance sound that it happened to make just then. For a few seconds, it played a broken melody that reminded her of a past evening three years ago with Joel on his front porch. He had been playing a new song for her when she heard a hauntingly similar broken melody from his own wind chime. Ellie suddenly, helplessly, and vividly remembered every detail, every color, every feeling, of that autumn evening. She immediately slowed her steps, coming to a stop before the abandoned house whose porch had the wind chime. It was the same sound; it seemed so to her. Pain slowly surfaced in her chest.</p><p>—</p><p>“<em>Wanna hear a song?” Joel asked as Ellie approached his porch steps. He was sitting on his chair. “I think you’ll like it.”</em></p><p>
  <em>“Alright,” she replied, holding back a smile and sitting on the chair beside him. "Let's hear it."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ellie looked at the peach colored clouds as he plucked away. She was impressed by the tune. It had emotion to it.</em>
</p><p>—</p><p>Ellie let out a pained breath at the memory. She could hear every note playing in her head. She could see Joel’s quiet face as he played. On releasing another painful, hitched breath, she took a feeble step onto the grass of the yard before the porch. The pain of the memory forced her to fall to her left knee. She laid her rifle beside her and planted her left hand on the ground as pain took control of her breathing.</p><p>—</p><p>
  <em>“Wow,” Ellie half-mockingly said.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>His song had a slightly somber tone to it. As he continued playing, she looked over at him. He was in deep thought as he played. Then, she looked at the frets that he held for each note. A minute or two later, he finished, his thoughtful look staying. He slowly gazed up at the street, which had a couple of friends walking along to their homes. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“That was good,” Ellie said, leaning her elbow on the chair’s armrest. “You came up with that?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I did, believe it or not,” he replied with a tinge of pride. “Took me a while. Would’ve made it big with this tune in the old world.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Right,” Ellie quipped.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“It’s true.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She continued looking at him with slight amusement for a few moments, and then looked at the cozy street.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“A few weeks ago, something reminded me of when you and I first made it to Colorado,” he calmly said. “I had to make a song for it.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I liked it,” Ellie admitted, trying to read his face in profile. “Maybe you can teach me to play it some time.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I was thinking the same thing,” he replied. “It’ll be good practice.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Yeah. I’m free tomorrow, so maybe then?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I was thinking I can show you now,” Joel suggested, joy in his eyes. He had come back from a patrol around four hours ago. “It’s a nice evening for guitar playing.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“It is,” Ellie said, considering it for a few moments and rubbing her thumb and pointer finger together. “I told Kat I’d hang out with her tonight. I’ll come over tomorrow morning. For sure.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She got up from the chair and placed her hand on the porch railing. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Oh, yeah. I’ll probably be plucking these strings until then,” he said with a light smile.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ellie chuckled. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Alright. I’ll see you later, Joel.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow, kiddo. Oh, and please tell Kat I said to stop keeping you up so late.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Don’t count on it.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>As she walked down the street, she heard Joel play the same somber song again. Hearing it then as the sound receded struck her more than the first time.</em>
</p><p>—</p><p>“Ellie!” Dina got on her knees and cupped Ellie’s tear covered face. “Ellie. Look at me. It’s okay.”</p><p>They were on the grass of the yard before the house with the wind chime. It was getting late, but there was still light. The song continued playing in her head as the wind chime continued its broken melodies, but none like that which evoked the painful memory moments ago.</p><p>“I don’t…” Ellie sobbed. “I didn’t get to…I didn’t get to talk…”</p><p>“Ellie. You cared for him and he knew that. He knew that.”</p><p>“I don’t deserve…” Her painful breathing cut her off. “I don’t deserve to be alive. I…”</p><p>“Don't think that,” Dina said, rubbing her friend’s back. “He wants you to be happy. He wanted that for you.”</p><p>Dina hugged her friend as they sat on the grass, letting her cry into her collar. Dina looked around a few times out of habit to make sure there weren’t any threats. Her focus was on calming her best friend.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Joel,” she cried, resting her hand on Dina’s arm, which wrapped around her shoulders. “I’m sorry…”</p><p>Dina continued rubbing her friend’s back.</p><p>“Come on. Let’s sit somewhere cozy.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>
  <span class="small">The song that helped inspire this chapter. To me, it represents the disorienting contrast of an out of the blue, happy memory with the sharp pain that it brings. I imagined the broken wind chime melody to be the jumbled piano melody that plays near the end. <a href="https://youtu.be/J7LZscqfBa0">Yutaka Hirasaka - be [♪ Link]</a></span>
</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. I'll Go Back, But We're Done</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <span class="small">Those old days—I wonder,</span>
  <br/>
  <span class="small">did I dream them</span>
  <br/>
  <span class="small">or were they real?</span>
  <br/>
  <span class="small">In the night I listen</span>
  <br/>
  <span class="small">to the autumn rain</span>
  <br/>
  <span class="small">– Ryōkan</span>
</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was around midnight. The two were sleeping in the guest room upstairs in the pale blue house. The room had two twin mattresses, one being on the floor and the other on a white wood frame. There were movie posters, a shelf full of paperback fiction books, and an overall navy blue and off white color scheme. Dina slept on the framed bed; Ellie lied on the floor mattress beside her. The sheets on the king sized bed in the adjacent room were covered in old blood spots.</p><p>Ellie couldn’t get herself to sleep. Often when Dina slept, she felt even more alone. The two-story house was cozy enough to comfort Ellie during the night, but she was apprehensive. Some painful memory would surface soon enough. Joel's lifeless face always seemed to be waiting around the corner of her thoughts at night. Wary of that, she slowly got up and sat by the shuttered window. It would be better to dwell on a memory on her own than to wait for one to resurface.</p><p>—Two years earlier—</p><p>Nearly two weeks passed since Ellie had returned to Jackson after Joel told her the truth at St. Mary's Hospital. Not only were Dina and Kat upset with her for leaving without telling them, but her dreams involving Riley and Sam troubled her for the past few days. She felt deeply alone for the first time in a long time.</p><p>As she focused on drawing in her journal at her desk, her earbuds in, she anticipated the next song that would play: the song that Riley played as they had danced in that clothing store years ago. She set her pen down and hovered her pointer finger over the pause button. Soon, the current song’s final notes slowly faded. Just as it transitioned to silence, Ellie paused it, looking intently at her Walkman.</p><p>A few moments later, she boldly pressed play. She needed to remember her now of all times, especially after learning the truth from Joel. She owed it to her. She hadn’t thought of Riley in years. After a few seconds of silence, the first notes of that familiar, painful song played. She let it go on a bit before pausing it again. The image of Riley’s face after pleading for her to not go suddenly came into in her mind. She pressed play again, determined to listen to it till the end.</p><p>But ten seconds later a clearer image overtook her mind. She saw Riley eagerly pull off her Firefly necklace, but when she looked up at her face, her eyes were bloodshot, and her nose and mouth were cracked and bloody. Still, she smiled at Ellie as she had then, her white teeth stained red. She leaned forward to kiss her, but the small force of the kiss suddenly made Riley crumple to the ground as one does when shot in the head. That’s how she crumpled when she had shot her, after she turned. Just like a life-sized doll.</p><p>“Fuck,” Ellie cried as she quickly paused the song, pulling out her earbuds. Pain took over her breathing. A little sweat formed on her forehead.</p><p>“Okay,” she said as guilt and grief seeped into her chest. “Okay…okay.”</p><p>In the past, she might’ve knocked on Joel’s front door to confide in him, but that was out of the question then. That realization not only pained her, but it also made her anger toward him grow tenfold.</p><p>“Okay…let’s go for a walk,” she said to herself, steadying her inhales and exhales.</p><p>She got up and put on her gray hoodie. She swore that if she saw Joel sitting on his back porch as she left her room, she would throw the worst of words at him. She would crush his soul then and there. Or maybe she’d just pretend he didn’t exist. That’s how she felt then as she put on her shoes.</p><p>“Let’s go for a walk,” she quietly repeated to herself.</p><p>She turned her lights off before exiting. Upon exiting, she glanced at Joel’s back porch, glad, yet also disappointed that he wasn’t sitting there. No lights shone through any of the windows. She had some cold, harsh words for him if he tried to talk to her then. She shook her head.</p><p>“Fucking dumb,” she quietly uttered as she locked her door. “Asshole.”</p><p>As she walked along the side of his house, she wondered if she should visit Dina. She couldn’t see any solace in walking all alone too long with her emotions. Both Dina and Kat had been avoiding her since she’d returned, but Kat was even more upset. Ellie knew that Dina was softer, more lenient. She decided she’d take advantage of that tonight by visiting her, although her friend probably didn’t want to see her. She needed to be with someone then.</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span class="small">Joel's back porch as seen from Ellie's front door. The side path to the front street is to the right.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t care,” she whispered to herself, referring to her lingering thought of what Dina would say to her at her door.</p><p>On reaching the street before Joel’s front porch, she saw that he wasn’t sitting there either. The last thing she wanted to see was him plucking at his guitar. She shook her head. As she pondered the best way to make Joel deeply regret what he took from her, she decided that she would sign up for more difficult paired patrols the next morning. He would no longer have any say on how she went about her patrols. She wanted to take the most dangerous routes possible as she had been wanting to for a long time.</p><p>—</p><p>Eventually, she reached Dina’s small home, which she lived in alone. She hesitated for a moment before knocking three times, thinking of what to say and how to say it. For the most part, she didn’t care how her friend would react. There was so much going on for her emotionally in the past week.</p><p>A few seconds later, Ellie saw Dina quickly peek at her through the maroon curtain covering her door’s window. It seemed a moment too long before she cracked open her door. Ellie was met with a blank expression. They silently stared at each other for a moment.</p><p>“What do you want, Ellie?” She evenly asked, scratching her head.</p><p>“I need to hang out with you tonight,” Ellie replied, hiding her emotions, trying not to sound too desperate.</p><p>“It’s late, Ellie.”—she faked a tiny yawn as she rubbed her forehead—“Go to bed.”</p><p>Ellie stoically looked at her friend for a few moments, crossing her arms.</p><p>“That was the fakest fucking yawn I’ve ever seen in my life,” she teased with the slightest smile.</p><p>Dina shook her head, denying the smallest smile, although Ellie briefly saw the hint of one.</p><p>“I don't care. Now, let me sleep. Talk to me later.”</p><p>Then, she closed her door, but Ellie slipped her left foot in to keep it ajar.</p><p>“Oh my God, Ellie,” she sighed, roughly scratching her head, making her hair more ruffled. “Go home.”</p><p>Ellie sighed too, resting her left hand on the wooden door frame.</p><p>“At least let me fucking tell you why I left!”</p><p>“No, Ellie,” Dina calmly refused. “At least not right now.”</p><p>“That’s not fair to me.”</p><p>“Fair to you? Well, too bad.”</p><p>Ellie gave a piercing look to her friend. Then, she huffed as she effortlessly shoved her way through. In disbelief, Dina offered little resistance.</p><p>“Ellie! No. Get out.”</p><p>Ellie simply walked over to her friend’s desk chair, turned it around on its swivel, and slumped herself onto it. Dina simply stood beside her opened door, looking with exasperation at Ellie.</p><p>“You’re fucking unbelievable,” said Dina, trying to sound spiteful.</p><p>Ellie shrugged and scrunched her face.</p><p>“So I’ve been told,” she nonchalantly replied, casually resting her elbows on the armrests.</p><p>Dina rubbed her forehead and let out a long sigh. She shook her head for just as long.</p><p>“Oh my God,” she uttered half to herself, pinching the bridge of her nose.</p><p>“Can I at least explain why I left?” Ellie gently asked. “I mean, I’m here now.”</p><p>“Whatever, I’m gonna sleep,” Dina replied, shutting her door, stepping over to her bed, and lying on her back.</p><p>“Like I tried to tell you, I needed to find something out about my past,” Ellie said, looking at Dina, who pretended to sleep. “It’s been eating away at me for the past year…it’s…I had to do it alone.”</p><p>Silence overtook the small room for a long while. Ellie studied the palm of her right hand, happy to be at least sitting in her best friend's room. Dina still lied on her back, but Ellie could see that her eyes were open, staring at the ceiling. A few minutes later, Dina softly sighed. Ellie looked back up at her.</p><p>“Why didn’t you tell me you were gonna leave? You just vanished.”</p><p>“I wanted to tell you, Dina. I just…I felt like you’d try to stop me,” Ellie reasoned, fidgeting in her seat. “’Cause I’d tell you that I’d have to go alone…”</p><p>Another long silence followed. Dina put her right hand under her head.</p><p>“For weeks I thought you were dead…or worse,” Dina uttered half to herself. “I’ve lost friends before…And you just go and ride off into the sunset.”</p><p>“It was dark when I left,” Ellie replied.</p><p>“Shut up.”</p><p>Ellie pretended to be engrossed in her hand again.</p><p>“Okay. I’m sorry, Dina,” Ellie uttered, Riley’s bloody face bothering her again. She couldn't repress it, nor did she want to. “I know I’m not a good friend. I’ve never really been a good friend.”</p><p>Dina slowly sat up on the edge of her bed and looked over at Ellie. Ellie meekly returned the look, and then went back to studying her right hand. Silence came between them for a moment.</p><p>“I just…let them die, and here I am still alive,” Ellie continued, shrugging and shifting her jaw as she did when under a strong emotion. “...Riley, she turned right in front of me…”</p><p>“Ellie,” Dina said with exasperation, yet evident worry.</p><p>“I could’ve done right by them,” Ellie said as if to herself, a lone tear falling down her cheek. “Could’ve made their deaths mean something...”</p><p>“Ellie, sit next to me,” Dina said, patting the edge of her bed beside her.</p><p>Ellie hesitated for a few moments, trying to quell her emotions by focusing on her right thumb.</p><p>“Ellie, c’mon. Sit next to me.”</p><p>With a feeble demeanor, Ellie slowly rose and padded over to sit beside Dina, who rubbed her back with her left arm. A few more tears streamed down her friend’s cheek along with a single hitched breath. Ellie leaned back onto the bed, her feet still touching the floor, and covered her eyes with her left wrist. Dina laid back beside her, first studying her friend’s face, and then looking up at the ceiling.</p><p>“I had to shoot her…” Ellie explained a moment later, removing her wrist from her face and wiping her cheek. “I’ve been seeing her bloody face the past few days...I’ve been listening to her favorite song...”</p><p>Dina looked back at her friend with affection.</p><p>“Was she your best friend? Riley.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Ellie sighed.</p><p>Silence reigned for a few moments.</p><p>“Wanna go out for a walk?” Dina asked.</p><p>Ellie pondered for a second.</p><p>“I just need to lie down for a bit. Your bed’s so soft.”</p><p>Dina lightly chuckled.</p><p>“Kat wouldn’t be happy if she saw you lying with me on my bed.”</p><p>Ellie abruptly laughed at that. Dina smiled.</p><p>“She’s not the jealous type,” Ellie matter-of-factly replied.</p><p>“C’mon, let’s walk,” Dina said, sitting up. “We’ll watch a movie when we get back. You can sleepover tonight.”</p><p>Ellie looked over at Dina with a small smile.</p><p>“Fine.”</p><p>—</p><p>The sea of stars shone in the night as the two walked side by side along the quiet streets of Jackson. A few of the windows of the houses lining the streets glowed from within. Now and then, a couple of friends both old and young would walk past, engrossed in their own conversations or shared silence.</p><p>“So, you have harder patrols than I do?” Ellie asked, looking at her friend’s gentle face.</p><p>“’Cause I’m a badass,” Dina quipped. Ellie chuckled.</p><p>“Yeah, sure.”</p><p>They enjoyed silence for a few moments.</p><p>“I’m thinking of signing up for one of those longer paired patrols tomorrow,” Ellie broached. “I hate the short ones.”</p><p>“Are you sure?” Dina asked, looking sideways at her taller friend. “It’s not for kids, you know?”</p><p>“Fuck you, I’m older than you,” Ellie held back a smile.</p><p>“Yeah, by a few months.”</p><p>“I’m more experienced than almost everyone my age here who goes on patrols.”</p><p>“Oh, yeah?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Ellie said, studying her friend’s teasing face.</p><p>“Well, I’ll see if I can have you patrol with me on the 17th,” Dina suggested. “Just two weeks from now. I think Maria will allow it.”</p><p>“Sounds good,” Ellie said with a satisfied look. “We’ll do that first thing tomorrow.”</p><p>“Is Joel gonna be okay with this, though?”</p><p>Ellie threw a piercing gaze at her friend, who was a bit taken aback by her intense expression.</p><p>“I don’t give a fuck if he’s okay with it.”</p><p>“Okay, just asking," Dina meekly said, looking at the ground before them.</p><p>“We’re going to Maria tomorrow morning to ask her,” Ellie firmly said.</p><p>“Alright, first thing.”</p><p>“Good.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p><strong><span class="small">Note:</span></strong><span class="small"> Ellie's garage/house is in Joel's backyard for those who don't know.</span><br/>------<br/><span class="small"><a href="https://youtu.be/M9hgBLCjsHY">Sochi - Nostalgia [♪ Link]</a></span></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Snake River Patrol</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <span class="small"><strong>Note:</strong> this is a continuation of the events from <strong>two years ago</strong> from the previous chapter. About <strong>three weeks</strong> after Joel told her the truth at St. Mary's Hospital.</span>
</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>—Two years earlier cont.—</p><p>Early the next morning, the dawn sky being cloudy, Ellie sat on Dina’s desk chair, putting on her sneakers. Dina put on her moss-colored pullover hoodie beside her door, dusting off bits of lint from her left shoulder. Ellie had slept on her friend’s cozy couch, having been content with her gray hoodie to keep her warm. They were going to visit Maria to see if she and Dina could be paired with each other for the patrol on the 17th.</p><p>“I haven’t seen you wear that hoodie in a while,” Ellie nonchalantly said, tying her right shoe.</p><p>“I like my zip up better,” Dina replied, leaning against the door frame. “Does it look okay?”</p><p>“Well, it looks like a hoodie,” Ellie said, getting up.</p><p>Dina rolled her eyes with a small smile.</p><p>“You ready to go?” Dina asked.</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>Dina walked out, locking her door after Ellie exited.</p><p>“So, after we ask Maria, you wanna hang out?”</p><p>“Where’re we gonna go?” Ellie asked, looking at the small yard. The cloudy sky and autumn trees around refreshed her.</p><p>“I was thinking of heading to the lake. The hordes are already far south by now.”</p><p>“I’m down,” said Ellie as they walked toward the street. “Who’s gonna come with us?”</p><p>“Just us two,” Dina replied, folding the cuff of her sleeve. “Jesse’s out on patrol today.”</p><p>“Who’s he patrolling with?”</p><p>“I think Tommy.”</p><p>“Tommy? I don’t think I’ve ever heard Tommy patrolling with someone other than Joel,” Ellie evenly said.</p><p>“Seems kinda wrong, right?” Dina joked. "Like he's cheating on him."</p><p>Ellie chuckled.</p><p>They looked at the gray sky in silence for a few moments as they walked along. There were a few people walking toward the town center on that minor street.</p><p>“I hope I can finally get longer patrols from now on,” Ellie said.</p><p>“You will,” Dina assured, looking at her friend. “You’ve proven yourself already.”</p><p>“Yeah, thanks.”</p><p>—</p><p>When they had arrived at Maria and Tommy’s house, they received no answer. On visiting the Copper Peak Inn at the town center and asking an acquaintance about Maria’s whereabouts, they learned that she was at East Gate 2. Soon, they arrived there and found Maria directing the construction of a small extension to the wooden stable, her back to them. They confidently and casually approached her.</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span class="small">Jackson, East Gate </span>
</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, Maria,” Dina greeted. Maria turned around, looking at the two friends.</p><p>“Hey, Dina, Ellie,” fixing her gaze on each as she addressed them.</p><p>“Hey. I just have a question,” said Dina.</p><p>“Ask away,” Maria casually replied.</p><p>“Ellie and I are wondering if we can be paired together for my patrol on the 17th.”</p><p>“I’m ready to move on from the kiddie patrols,” Ellie evenly added. The hint of a smile formed on the older woman’s face.</p><p>“Give me a minute,” Maria said, holding up her hand. “I’ll get back to you guys after I deal with this.”</p><p>“Okay,” they both said, hanging around the stable while she finished up.</p><p>They leaned against the stable's wooden fence, watching the preparations for construction. Eventually, Maria approached them with her authoritative demeanor.</p><p>“So, about the patrol,” she said, stopping in front of the two. “I’ll allow it, but under one condition: tell me or someone I trust before you leave for an extended period of time, agreed?”</p><p>“Okay,” Ellie yielded. “I will.”</p><p>“I’ll mark you two for the 17th. I'll let Jesse know.”</p><p>“Thanks, Maria.”</p><p>Ellie was truly grateful.</p><p>“Of course, but take it seriously out there, alright?”</p><p>“I will,” Ellie assured.</p><p>“By the way, did Joel tell you how long he’d be out for?”</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“He hasn’t been back yet, since he went after you.”</p><p>Ellie sighed, confused by her own mixture of worry and anger.</p><p>“We…had an argument when he found me,” Ellie explained, shaking her head a bit. “He’s probably just…thinking over the stupid shit he’s done.”</p><p>Maria affectionately studied Ellie’s face.</p><p>“It’s not the first time he’s been out for long,” Maria assured, aware of how close the two were. “Are things okay between you two?”</p><p>Ellie looked down, crossed her arms, and gave a heavy sigh. She briefly remembered the time when Joel had been gone for nearly two weeks to find that cassette tape that he gifted to her on her 16th birthday.</p><p>“No…” She uttered. “Probably not.”</p><p>“Okay,” said Maria, concern on her face. “It’s none of my business. I’ll be here if you guys need me.”</p><p>“Thanks.”</p><p>Maria turned and walked back to the group who were organizing the stable's extension project. Ellie and Dina walked away, heading for the north gate. They were silent for a while, the early morning sky showing soft colors on and between the clouds.</p><p>“So…what happened between you and Joel?” Dina meekly asked as they passed the pharmacy on their way to the north side.</p><p>Ellie remained silent for a moment, looking at the mountain range towering above the walls and towers.</p><p>“It’s...a long story.”</p><p>A few steps of silence followed.</p><p>“I can listen,” Dina said.</p><p>For a few moments, Ellie felt like crying on realizing again that such an important part of her, her own immunity, had to be kept a secret from her best friend. How could she explain something like that to Dina?</p><p><em>Would she think less of me, if she knew I had the privilege of being immune? </em>Ellie wondered.</p><p>“It’s a secret…between me and Joel,” Ellie uttered, feeling ashamed. “Maybe when I’m older I’ll be able to tell you.”</p><p>“It’s okay, I don’t want you to feel forced,” Dina assured with a caring tone. “But no matter what it is, I’d still be your best friend.”</p><p>Ellie looked at her best friend with appreciation.</p><p>“Thanks, Dina.”</p><p>—Ten days later—</p><p>It was the morning of the 17th. Ellie sat up on her bed and looked at her alarm clock. It read 7:14. Shortly, she would be going on patrol with Dina. She couldn’t help but feel excited, not only to go on patrol with Dina, but to finally take on a <em>real </em>patrol. Although she was beyond upset with Joel, she had wondered last night before sleeping if he were in danger somewhere out there. She felt betrayed by him, but she would feel even more betrayed if he were to get himself killed out there, to have taken her from the hospital only to make her have to deal with his death just two years later.</p><p>As she put on her patrol outfit, she thought about him again, what he was up to, why he hadn’t returned yet. He'd been gone for three weeks. She packed her bag, secured her holster on her right thigh, and put her 9mm pistol into it, making sure its safety was on beforehand. She then sat on the nightstand beside her door and put on her sneakers. As she tied her right shoe, she heard Dina’s voice coming from outside.</p><p>“Hey, Joel,” she called out.</p><p>“Oh, hey, Dina,” Joel gently replied, apparently from his back porch. “Headin’ out today?”</p><p><em>He's back?</em> Ellie wondered, tying her left shoe. <em>Must've arrived last night.</em></p><p>Ellie felt a sliver of relief that he returned, that he wasn’t dead. At the same time, however, she didn’t want to see him. She didn’t want to talk to him either and was slightly annoyed that Dina greeted him so kindly. However, he sounded a bit less lively than usual as he talked with Dina. </p><p>“Yeah, Ellie and I are going on patrol,” Dina said. “I’m gonna show her a new route.”</p><p>“Oh,” he nonchalantly said. “Always good to take a new route once in a while.”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“I’m guessing you’re going to the southeast valley,” Joel guessed.</p><p>“No, the opposite direction,” Dina corrected. “The Snake River route.”</p><p>“Oh. Snake River? North or south?”</p><p>“North.”</p><p>The northern Snake River patrol route was not the most difficult, but it was certainly not a walk in the park like some of the other beginner routes. Ellie took her time double knotting, waiting for them to stop talking.</p><p>“Oh,” Joel said, pausing for a moment. “That’s a tough one. Gives everyone trouble.”</p><p>“Nothing we can’t handle,” Dina casually replied. “The horde should be long past anyway.”</p><p>“You’re right. Winter's far off. Just...take care out there.”</p><p>“Will do.”</p><p>A few seconds later, Ellie heard three knocks at her door. She could see Dina's silhouette through her door's gray window curtain.</p><p>“Ellie, you ready?”</p><p>“Yeah...I’m just putting on my shoes.”</p><p>“Please don’t tell me you’re gonna wear those old sneakers,” Dina lightheartedly said from outside.</p><p>“These are my patrol shoes,” Ellie defended, smiling to herself.</p><p>On adjusting the hem of her hoodie, she got up and opened her door.</p><p>“Finally," Dina teased.</p><p>Ellie rolled her eyes with a small smile.</p><p>On walking out, Ellie saw Joel on his back porch in her periphery. He was busy sanding the wooden balustrades of the railing. To her satisfaction, he kept his eyes on his task, not daring to try to begin small talk with her. Ellie locked her door.</p><p>“You have everything?” Said Dina, feigning condescension and looking over Ellie. “Holster, check; pistol, check. Is the safety on?”</p><p>“I’m not five, Dina,” Ellie said with a straight face. Dina smiled and Ellie shook her head.</p><p>Then, they walked toward the street in front of Joel’s house. At the north gate, Jesse would brief them and the others scheduled to patrol that day. Ellie knew that Jesse already trusted her to be smart out there; she had been doing paired patrols for a few months by then. Usually, Joel would tell Ellie to be careful before heading out, but apparently knowing better, he kept quiet as he calmly sanded.</p><p>“Maybe we’ll beat our infected kills record today,” Ellie said.</p><p>“Maybe. I mean, if you get two kills, you’ll break your record,” Dina teased.</p><p>“Oh, shut up. I’ve killed many infected in my past patrols."</p><p>—</p><p>It was a few hours before noon and a few hours since they'd departed from the north gate. They were then riding their horses north along an overgrown road just west of Snake River, which they had crossed not long ago, about ten miles out. They had seen about a dozen dead infected floating down the river when they had rode along its left bank. Presently, they approached a small, derelict town to the north, a few miles past which was the first lookout.</p><p>Just half an hour ago, they had come across three runners. They’d been the late year stragglers. Even as late as autumn, a few stragglers always managed to separate from the main southbound hordes after winter. One of the runners had worn tattered Firefly fatigues. Its pants’ pocket contained an ID, which showed that it, or she, came from a QZ in Arizona. Ellie wondered if the QZ there was still running like Boston’s.</p><p>“We need to be careful in the town up ahead,” Dina said as they rode along. Her horse gently neighed. “Stragglers like to hang out in the buildings.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Ellie replied, knowing well the ways of the infected.</p><p>As they entered the town amid the quiet streets, old cars, and abandoned stores, they spotted two dead deer at the first intersection. Their blood-stained skeletons showed through what little flesh remained.</p><p>“Looks fresh," Dina said to herself. "They have to be nearby."</p><p>“They should've left a blood trail or something,” Ellie suggested.</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>As they neared the carcasses, which lied amid deep red pools, they saw a faint trail of jumbled, bloody shoeprints leading across the street to a medium-sized Nook &amp; Cranny bookstore on the far side of the road leading left from the intersection. Its window displayed an ad for a horror novel book signing on October 14th, 2013. Shortly, they dismounted and tied their horses to a streetlight pole on the corner of the intersection opposite the bookstore.</p><p>“Let’s try to lure them out,” Dina said, grabbing her rifle from around her shoulders. "We’ll go in if they're stubborn.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Ellie replied, grabbing her rifle as well. “I brought a couple of glass bottles.”</p><p>Ellie took one out, a beer bottle from a Jackson bar. Then, she threw it across the street so that it landed on the sidewalk before the bookstore’s open double doors. A few seconds later, three runners appeared from within, slowly coming into the faint light near the entrance. Upon seeing the young duo across the street, they cried and sprinted toward them. The two calmly and easily dispatched the runners, Ellie taking two and Dina one. In the ensuing, silence, they casually reloaded, anticipating more infected after their gunshots.</p><p>Seconds later, the rapidly approaching sound of a group of infected came from an alley around the corner of an antique store 20 feet or so down the same street and on the same side as the bookstore. Shortly, four crying runners appeared from that alley. They, were easily dispatched as well, the Jackson friends treating the encounter as mere target practice, aiming for the center of mass. They killed two each.</p><p>They opened their bolts and loaded two rounds, looking down the other three streets leading from the intersection as they did. On seeing that no more infected came for them, they decided to do a cursory sweep on foot through the small town. However, they were confident that the gunshots would’ve attracted whatever infected were left.</p><p>“You’re a good shot,” Dina nonchalantly said as they walked down the north street.</p><p>“You already knew that,” Ellie replied.</p><p>“Yeah, I did.”</p><p>“That’s six kills for me, four for you.”</p><p>Dina smugly smiled.</p><p>“We’re just getting started.”</p><p>“Okay,” Ellie smiled.</p><p>“I think it’s the bullets you’re using,” Dina joked. “I bet they’re heat seeking or something.”</p><p>“I use the same bullets you use,” Ellie said with her incredulous tone.</p><p>“What kind?” Dina said with a small laugh.</p><p>“The same old Sellier &amp; Bellot boxes that they always give us for patrol.”</p><p>“Right,” Dina lightheartedly quipped.</p><p>“You are the most infuriating person I’ve ever met.”</p><p>“Yeah, your favorite.”</p><p>Ellie smiled and shook her head, thumbing the safety on the bolt of her rifle.</p><p>As they neared the second intersection toward the opposite end of the small town, they spotted a relatively clean and intact car in the right lane of the road leading left from that intersection. As they came closer to it, they saw fresh bodies within, one in each seat. There were four. The license plate read Montana.</p><p>“What the fuck happened here?” Ellie asked to no one in particular.</p><p>“It looks recent.”</p><p>They slung their rifles back on their shoulders.</p><p>All of the car’s windows were cracked, yet unbroken and covered in bloody handprints, some clear, some smudged. The duo looked closely inside. Each of the four occupants had relatively fresh bullet holes in their heads. In the back seat were two kids, one boy, one girl. In the driver’s seat was a man, who had a revolver in his hand. It was a family.</p><p>“I think they shot themselves,” Ellie said, studying the fresh bodies.</p><p>“Yeah. Fuck. I wonder why.”</p><p>They looked in silence for a few moments.</p><p>“Look,” said Ellie, gesturing to the kids. “The boy’s got a bite on his hand.”</p><p>Dina looked over at them</p><p>“Fuck,” said Dina. “The girl’s got one too, on her forearm.”</p><p>“It looks like they got surrounded by infected,” Ellie said, referring to the bloody handprints covering the windows.</p><p>“The parents probably didn’t want to see them turn,” Dina matter-of-factly said as she continued looking over the bodies.</p><p>Those words struck Ellie’s heart and weighed on them like an anchor.</p><p>“Yeah, looks like it.”</p><p>Shortly, they backed away, seeing everything that needed to be seen in the car.</p><p>“Let’s head back to the horses,” Dina said.</p><p>“Alright.”</p><p>As they walked back, Ellie wondered if she should’ve shot Riley before she turned instead of waiting until she became a monster. The father in the car had the courage to do so. But it was Riley’s decision to cherish every moment under her control. Ellie briefly remembered her twitching body and bloodshot eyes in that derelict mall. Strangely, she felt a bit desensitized to it, which worried her for a moment.</p><p>—</p><p>About half an hour later, they arrived at the Jackson Hole Resort in Teton Village. The lookout was up the mountain just west of the resort where they’d have a wide view of the valley to the east, which they would scope out to identify any rogue groups of infected. Then, they’d have to patrol a few hidden spots in and around the surrounding area before continuing on a little more north. That would take the better part of their day.</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span class="small">Sign showing the direction to Teton Village. From the intro segment with Joel and Tommy riding back to Jackson.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>On reaching the resort’s parking lot, the two spotted a group of dead infected lying about 20 feet from the main entrance of the nearest building. One of the cars parked nearest the entrance looked relatively new like the one with the dead family in the previous town. As they neared it, Ellie saw the license plate read Montana too.</p><p>“I think there’re survivors here,” Ellie said, cautiously looking over the balconies. “Maybe in the resort.”</p><p>They dismounted, tied their horses near the entrance, and approached the group of eight dead infected. Ellie saw that each had fresh bullet holes in their heads and bodies, some with deep cuts on their necks.</p><p>“Yeah, someone’s here,” Dina presumed. “Maybe we should report back.”</p><p>Ellie pondered for a moment.</p><p>“We have to check it out,” Ellie broached. “If there’re survivors, we can bring them back. That’s a part of our job.”</p><p>“We also have to be smart about this, too,” Dina reminded. “If they can take out eight infected, there may be a group. We’re not obligated to go out of our way for survivors.”</p><p>“Look at the eight cars in this parking lot,” Ellie looked around. “That small car is the only one that looks out of place. There can’t be more than four.”</p><p>They considered their course of action for a few more moments, grabbing their rifles as they did. They looked around, but especially at the entrance and the balconies of the resort, making sure they weren’t being watched.</p><p>“Alright,” Dina yielded. “Let’s just check out the lobby, but no more than that. If we don’t find anyone in there, we still have the rest of our route to do.”</p><p>“Okay, sounds good. Let’s go."</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>Together, they cautiously walked to the entrance, rifles half raised. On reaching the door, Dina placed her hand on the handle and, with a nod at Ellie, slowly pushed it open. With her rifle raised, Ellie slowly entered. To her surprise, they immediately saw a group of three sitting hunched over on the lobby’s couches. Ellie aimed at them. One of the three, a middle-aged woman, noticed the Jackson duo at the doors.</p><p>“Erin,” she uttered, a look of fear on her face.</p><p>Her two companions, a young woman and middle-aged man, both of whose backs were to the door, quickly turned around to face the armed duo.</p><p>“Put your hands up,” Ellie firmly commanded. “Don’t make any sudden movements.”</p><p>They did as they were told.</p><p>“Okay, okay,” said the man. “We’re just trying to get by. Please. My daughter’s hurt.”</p><p>Ellie briefly studied the teenage girl, who had a harmless look to her.</p><p>“Any of you armed?” Ellie asked, keeping her sights on the group.</p><p>“Yes, we each have a pistol and rifle,” said the father, a slight nervousness to his tone. “We don’t mean any harm. Please.”</p><p>“Where’re you guys heading?” Dina asked with a gentler tone.</p><p>“We were heading south,” said the father, his bandaged right arm shaking a bit. “We left the FEDRA quarantine zone in Montana. They were falling apart.”</p><p>“FEDRA?” Ellie said, slightly lowering her rifle.</p><p>“Yeah, they’re what’s left of the government,” the father explained.</p><p>“Yeah, I know,” Ellie said, half in thought.</p><p>“We can take you guys back to our town,” Dina offered lowering her gun a bit too. “It’s in Jackson, just a few miles southeast.”</p><p>“Yes, we’ll go,” said the older woman, apparently the mother and wife, with a hopeful look. “Can she get medical attention there?”</p><p>“Yeah, we have a clinic over there,” Dina replied. “What kind of injury is it?”</p><p>“It’s a cut,” explained the father. “We ran out of gas. How will we get there?”</p><p>“We have two horses,” Ellie answered.</p><p>The father turned toward his wife.</p><p>“Go with Sherry,” he said. “I’ll stay here for now.”</p><p>“No,” said Sherry, their daughter. “Just come with us. Their might—”</p><p>“I already told you, I have to stay behind anyways.”</p><p>“Are you bit?” Ellie asked the father, but his wife interrupted.</p><p>“They might be able to help you at their place,” she reasoned with him. “Maybe they can amputate your—.”</p><p>“It’s too late, it's been hours. Go, now…ahh, fuck,” he screamed, lurching forward and grasping his bandaged arm. “Just go. Please. Ahhh…God.”</p><p>He fell forward from his chair onto his hands and knees.</p><p>“Sherry let’s go, now,” the mother said with shaking voice, kneeling before her husband and kissing him. “I love you.”</p><p>Their daughter silently cried, but in a controlled manner. She looked weary and dirty despite her youth.</p><p>“I love you both. Now, don't be sad,” he pleaded with labored breath. “For me. That’s all I ask. Promise me.”</p><p>“I promise,” said the daughter, collecting herself, but with a few more tears still coming out.</p><p>“Go, now,” he urged again.</p><p>“Come on, Sherry,” said the mother, who managed to hold back any tears, although she looked broken. “Hurry.”</p><p>They approached Ellie and Dina. Dina led them toward the door, but Ellie stayed behind, watching the father writhe in pain.</p><p>“Ellie, we should go,” Dina said, snapping Ellie out of her focus. “Let’s take them back.”</p><p>“What do we do with him,” Ellie asked, conflicted.</p><p>The mother told her daughter to go outside, and then returned to her husband, removing her pistol from her waist holster as she did so. On seeing her intentions, Ellie approached her.</p><p>“I can do it,” she offered. “You don't have to.”</p><p>The woman looked at Ellie with a pained face for a few seconds, and then back at her husband.</p><p>“Okay,” she said, her eyes welling with tears, but not spilling any, as she looked at him one last time. “Okay...go ahead.”</p><p>She put her pistol back into her holster and quickly exited with Dina. Once the family members were out, Ellie approached the father, pistol in hand, and aimed at his head.</p><p>“She wanted me to end it for you,” Ellie quietly said as the man writhed.</p><p>He gave no answer, continuing to cry out in agony, his cries becoming more like that of an enraged runner. She'd seen people turn many times before, not just Riley, in her 17 years of life. When he quickly snapped his eyes onto Ellie with bloodshot eyes and a bleeding nose, Ellie shot him once before he could stand.</p><p>With that, she holstered her pistol, walked out of the lobby, and joined the recent widow, Sherry, and Dina at the horses, which were untied. The mother sat with Dina and Sherry with Ellie. They galloped across the parking lot, heading back to Jackson. A bit of the man's blood had splashed onto Ellie’s right hand when she shot him through his temple. Her pistol had been loaded with hollow points. Without thinking, she wiped the red drops onto her pants, holding onto the reigns with her left. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>
  <span class="small">Old friends dead and gone, their houses in ruins, I walk through</span>
  <br/>
  <span class="small">thick bamboo, deep fog, each step a further step into confusion</span>
  <br/>
  <span class="small">– Lu Yu</span>
</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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